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presonmyheart
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Name: Rachel
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, Movies, Scrapbooking, Friends,my awesome hubby & my adorable baby, and most of all my heavenly father who is so good to me
Expertise: oh yes! shopping
Occupation: stay at home mom an lovin it!
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/5/2006
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| Colossians3:12-13
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering. 13. Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as christ forgave you, so also do ye.
Why do we ‘’I’’ as christians think that when someone hurts us "me" I need to in return hurt them, better yet let them know they hurt me?! This is a struggle I have and I think most people do. I want to claim this verse and forgive those who hurt me and pray for them. And as God says “love them” What a difference we as christians can make if we just give up *SELF*
I”m just thinking out loud .......So bare with me:)
Wednesday my baby turned 8 weeks ! He doesn’t seem like 8 weeks. He’s still very small weighing only 3 lb 12oz. He is still on C pap with 30% oxygen
I often feel like I’m living in a bad dream! I would love to wake up. I’m at the hospital all week with Miles but don’t get very much Mother baby time. I can’t wait to hold him whenever I want to and kiss his li'l cheeks ...Its hard to feel like his mommy when everyone else is taking care of him instead of me. Someday, some sweet glorious day! I think about it more and more , how ready I am to just be with my family, just the five of us!
The children are still living with the grandparents. Again I am so, so thankful for the help of family. They are very well taken care of but I still feel sorry for my children . They have been through so much! Taras often talks about moving home to our house with Mommy, Daddy, Ydana and baby Miles. Every time I tell him we have to wait till Miles gets better and bigger he says “ but mommy! I want a little baby!” I don’t think we will have to worry about him being to big:)
I miss my children so much! I can’t wait to never have to say bye to them unless by choice . I have learned to turn my emotions off just a li'l, if I don’t ,I can’t cope very well....What to do?! Some days I feel like I'm spinning around in circles and can’t stop. How do other people deal with this ?
Helping Daddy
I really miss my husband, I don’t get to spend very much time with him. Amazingly we feel closer , I guess we need it each other more emotionally now then before. He has been so great, there for me all the time. I feel very blessed to have a man who loves me so much. We see each other Monday nights , wednesday night s we have family night. friday we see each other for a just al li'l before I head home while preston stays with Miles. Sunday again we see each other for a li'l before I head back to the hospital, so thats life right now. Weekends I get to spend time with the kids while Preston spends time with Baby Miles. SO you see our family doesnt’t really seem like a family right now. Its so hard but God is there for us every step of the way.
I really hope we get to be home by thanksgiving. I don’t know what's its like being a Mom and wife all at the same time anymore! I want to sleep in my own bed again ( its been 5 months) with my best friend right beside me who keeps me warm and cozy. I want to wake up to the sound of one of my children, I don’t care if its happy or crying I’ll take either one:) I want to sit at the supper table with my family and hear my kids pray GOD IS GREAT.... I want to watch my husband play with them after supper ( like it use to be) I just want to live a normal life again! GOD give me strength to keep living a life like this. I’m so ready to all be together it drives me crazy thinking about it! God be close to my children. Be with Taras at night keep him from having bad dreams, continue to put a song in Ydanas heart , she loves to sing. God bless them. bless baby Miles , god wrap your arms around my baby, heal his li'l body help him to grow. Give him good healthy lungs. Thank you for blessing us with another beautiful child. Thank you for choosing us to be his parents. I feel so Blessed!
Here are some pictures for you to enjoy. The latest of Miles
Nippy holder
wide eyed
Chubby cheeks
I just love my baby!
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| I am amazed at how life seems so normal and at the same time I know its not normal. I just feel so weird when I go home over the weekend, not being cooped up in a Hospital, surrounded by Dr's and nurses. I often find myself dreaming of how life will be when we can finally leave this Hospital and it seems like a dream that will never come true. I don't know how I will ever manage 3 children cooking, cleaning and laundry! I wonder if I will even remember how to cook"( my poor family. This Friday it's been 10 weeks since I first came to the Hospital..Seems longer almost.
Last week we were told Miles will have to have surgery on his PDA if it doesn't close. They told us on Sun if it's not closed by Tues then he will be sent to Akron. So we had many people pray for a miracle. I was stressing out really bad cause they told us he will pry get much worse before he get better ( after surgery) and they also told us Akron will try and keep him there so we need to be bossy and demand he comes back here . I was not looking forward to Akron . The rooms don't allow you do stay in your baby's room like they do here. All together I just like this hospital much more. So anyway Tues came and they did a heart echo to see if it's still open , it was so the Dr ( Richards ) and Nurse were telling us when he will pry be sent out and we need to pack our things etc. So we had everything packed before 11. On our way out to take our bags to the car, the Dr(ford) told us to hold off on the bags, she wants to check his ultra sound before we take everything out. so back we went. I had given up on getting by without surgery till then, I decided to ask God one more time for a Miracle. Well to make a long story short God gave us that miracle! He has been doing great ever since. God has been so very good to us. That was just one of the many prayers he has answered for us during this trial. God's love is so real for his children!
Miles holding his lil Sam doll...
Every now and then I have to put Sam in my shirt so it has my scent :)
Today( Wednesday) They took Miles off of the ventilator!!!! and back on C pap. He's doing really well with that. I am so glad to see him without a tube down his throat, poor baby hated that tube. Yesterday he was pulling on it all the time, the Dr then said it's time to get it out , that might be his way of telling us he's ready to breath on his own again:) and he's doing so well now Yay! Thats one step closer to come home.
Here are some recent pictures of my lil cutie:)
a hat thats way to big!
Loving his daddy
And Mommy :)
He's sucking on his finger
tuckered
He was so wide awake.
Such a huge nippy
Trying to suck on the tube
So tired
Every week Preston brings the children and we go have a family night. Out to eat , shopping maybe the park. Its so fun to spend time together like a normal family again. Makes me so eager to being together everyday.
Red Robin
Cheese!
Such a great husband and father! My shoulder to lean on. He has been so wonderful through all we've been through. I luv you babe
And then we all go say hi to baby Miles.
Taras telling Miles something") They love their baby brother.
Tonight is our Family night, I can't wait!
Miles has a long way to go yet and we covet your prayers. I know you are. Thank you....Everyone has been so kind. Gods blessing.
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| I love my little guy so much! He is such a blessing added to our family. Preston and I find ourselves dreaming so often of the time we can all be at home as a family. Not sure does it make it easier or harder on us to do that I spent the weekend with Taras and Ydana , was so fun to see how much they have grown! I feel a lil sad somtimes when I think how much I missed out on them this summer, especially Ydana. She has really learned allot in the last half year. She can say the whole ABC's and count to ten and she sings all the time so cute:) And Taras has really learned how to tell stories , hes so funny He's not as shy as he use to be either, the one day he told my nurse he has a wedgie and picked it right in front of her, She thought that was just grand
Some people have been asking me how I'm doing. Well I'm doing good only I still get really tired. Going steps things like that make me really tired or standing for a long time, its amazing how much it took out of me being bed rested. I tell you, it feel so good to get up and around tho!
Going through this has been a great trial for our family but it has been really good for us too. Someday I will share a lil more on this subject I just have a hard time looking back and thinking about it. God has been so real and so close to me throughout this and I'm not just saying this I truly feel it was worth it just to feel Gods presence , would I ever want to go through it or something like this again NO! And I would feel sorry for anyone who would have to go through the same thing. I have learned God does love with an everlasting love and he is there with us no matter what we are going through. Look to Him, be honest with your lord he cares and he wants to carry your pain. Pry one of the biggest things I have learned going through this is, God wants us to cry out to him and tell him how we feel, our hurts, fears, anger, joy everything be open and honest don't sugar coat it he can see how we truly feel and he's not going to love us any less. There are so many things to share on what I have gone through I'm afraid it would take all day to put it on paper.
Anyway enough on that. Here are some picture of my baby..........I'm so proud to be his Momma:)
This may give you an idea on the size of lil Miles
He's so sweet! He loves when Mommy and Daddy hold him.
so peaceful
 
Today Miles is 2lb 9 oz. He is gaining very well.
Thank you for still remembering our family in your prayers...Sometimes I'm to weary to pray so thank you! We are still going through this trial but I know God is right beside us all the way, what a comfort we Christians have.
Miles' momma
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| Last night the dr informed us that Miles has PDA ..... Its very common for preemies to have. Tomorrow is the last day of his treatment.. Pray that it will be taken care of. If it isn't then they will redo the treatment ( it's a 3 day treatment) If it works then he should be back on c pap in a couple of days!
Other then this he is doing well. As soon as I say that something else will turn up. We have learned that we need to take one day at a time here in the NICU.
I am very happy with Miles' dr's and nurses. They are very nice and talk to him like you would to any newborn. They all fuss over how cute he is :)
Its been a week since I have been able to hold him. This is very hard to deal with. My prayer is that God would hold my baby until I can. I miss hearing him cry too. He is still on the ventilator so he isn't able to make any sounds. Before ( when on C pap ) he would cry every time they changed his pamper:) he deff lets them know what he does and doesn't like. Way to go Miles!
Well I would like to post pictures and write more but for now its time for this momma to eat supper. maybe later tonight I can post pictures of my baby. Miles and I will be hanging out by ourselves tonight.
Read on if you want to know what PDA is
High-Risk Newborn Patent Ductus Arteriosus (PDA) What is patent ductus arteriosus (PDA)? Patent ductus arteriosus (PDA) is a condition in which the connecting blood vessel between the pulmonary artery and the aorta in fetal circulation, called the ductus arteriosus, stays open in a newborn baby.  | | Click image to enlarge |  | | Click image to enlarge | Because the placenta does the work of exchanging oxygen (O2) and carbon dioxide (CO2) through the mother's circulation, the fetal lungs are not used for breathing. Instead of blood flowing to the lungs to pick up oxygen and then flowing to the rest of the body, the fetal circulation shunts (bypasses) most of the blood away from the lungs. In the fetus, blood is shunted from the pulmonary artery to the aorta through the ductus arteriosus. However, with the first breaths of air the baby takes at birth, the fetal circulation changes. A larger amount of blood is sent to the lungs to pick up oxygen. Because the ductus arteriosus is no longer needed, it normally begins to wither and close off. What causes patent ductus arteriosus? Some babies are more likely to have PDA, especially premature babies. Babies with respiratory problems at birth may have a difficult time increasing the pressure inside the lungs and changing the blood flow. PDA is also a common congenital (present at birth) heart defect and may occur along with other heart defects. It is twice as common in females as in males. Why is patent ductus arteriosus a concern? Problems are more likely to occur if the opening of the PDA is large. The shunting causes too much blood to flow to the lungs and not enough to the other parts of the body. There may be changes in the blood pressure, and the heart may enlarge as it tries to make up for the abnormal blood flow. Babies with PDA may be at risk for infection or inflammation of the arteries. Severe PDA can cause slow growth, and may result in heart failure. In premature babies, PDA can complicate respiratory problems, making the distributing of oxygen more difficult. What are the symptoms of patent ductus arteriosus? Babies with small PDAs may not have any observable symptoms, but those with a larger opening often do. The following are the most common symptoms of PDA. However, each baby may experience symptoms differently. Symptoms may include: - strong pulses
- heart murmur
- enlarged heart size
- respiratory difficulty
- cyanosis (blue coloring)
The symptoms of PDA may resemble other conditions or medical problems. Always consult your baby's physician for a diagnosis. How is patent ductus arteriosus diagnosed? In addition to a complete medical history and physical examination (especially listening to the heart for sounds of the murmur that are common with PDA), diagnostic procedures may include: - electrocardiogram - a test that records the electrical activity of the heart, shows abnormal rhythms and, detects heart muscle damage.
- x-ray - a diagnostic test which uses invisible electromagnetic energy beams to produce images of internal tissues, bones, and organs onto film.
- echocardiogram - a noninvasive test that uses sound waves to produce a study of the motion of the heart's chambers and valves.
- cardiac catheterization (when other heart defects are suspected) - a test in which a small catheter (hollow tube) is guided through a vein or artery into the heart to help see any defects on x-ray.
Treatment of patent ductus arteriosus: Specific treatment for patent ductus arteriosus will be determined by your baby's physician based on: - your baby's gestational age, overall health, and medical history
- extent of the disease
- your baby's tolerance for specific medications, procedures, or therapies
- expectations for the course of the disease
- your opinion or preference
Small PDAs may not require treatment or may close without treatment. In premature babies, an aspirin-type drug called indomethacin is often given. Indomethacin has been shown to be very effective in causing the PDA to close. Further studies are being done to find out if it will also help prevent PDA in babies at risk for the condition. If a PDA does not respond to medication, or is due to causes other than prematurity, surgery may be needed. This surgery is called ligation and involves placing a suture around the ductus to close it. | | |
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Just like his daddy use to do ( or so I have heard) :) 
